"Salty Jake Syndrome"

Today I want to talk about the disorder that I'll call the "Salty Jake Syndrome".

Signs and symptoms of SJS are the following :

• Crusty, dented, scorched helmet (suddenly appears after 1 year on the job)
• Dirty, stinking Bunker Gear with rips and tears all over
• Sudden appearance of station uniforms resembling a domicile challenged individual (being PC here)
• White officer devices that suddenly, over night, become charred and covered in soot
• Waxing poetically about rubber coats and hip boots, (In spite of the fact of not being on when they were worn)
• Entitlement attitude (this job owes me)
• All stories begin with; "We had a Job", "Remember how it used to be", "This is how we do it here", "That company sucks", etc......
• And the ultimate sign - a bushy mustache.

Here at the CBSC (Center for Bullshit Control) we are working on a vaccine designed to eradicate or at least isolate against the spread of SJS. Until we find a pill, we have come up with some easy actions to help protect you from the SJS virus.

Some ways to prevent infection and combat the spread are:

• If your gear is dirty- WASH IT !
• If it has rips in it- GET IT FIXED!
• Wear the uniform you were given- KEEP IT CLEAN AT ALL TIMES!
• Realize the rubber coats SUCKED!
• The hip-boots were even WORSE!
• The job owes you NOTHING! You took an OATH to do it
• DO NOT tell any fire stories to anyone with more time than you
• Realize there are good and bad firefighters all over, the number on your device MEANS NOTHING!
• Buy a razor and SHAVE!

Following these steps can help mitigate and stop the spread of SJS. All member are urged to avoid all contact with those exhibiting the signs and symptoms of the malady until further notice.